I am taking a break from talking about the wedding, about me, about us, and what is going on. This is something that has really burdened me as I have been watching (or not watching) the news the past few days.

This may offend, but Scripture was never intended to make us feel good about ourselves. Jesus came to bring division between those made righteous by His blood, and those not (Luke 12:49-51).

How it saddens me that this culture that we live in is so deceived. How is it that a pop singer can die and not only take up all the news coverage for days on end, but for millions of people to mourn obsessively over him, his life, his "legacy", his death?!?! Oh how it ANGERS me to no end.

There is a Sovereign, Righteous, Just, and Holy God who is jealous for our affection!!!! He is jealous about praise and adoration!!!! How have we as a society, even Christians, forgotten this?!?!?

How sad and utterly pathetic it is that we will so gladly spend hours watching the funeral and memorial services of a man, but we refuse to spend time in His Word, giving worship to the ONLY ONE who is deserving!?!?!? It is wrong because it is idolatry. It is wrong because we are misplacing our love and affections on the wrong thing. We are in every sense, storing up treasures on earth, instead of in the Kingdom of eternity.

Eternity is calling us. The Lord is awaiting...He is long suffering, yet He is jealous for His Bride, and He will NOT tolerate the wandering affections of His Bride. May we come to a place of the knowledge of His Righteousness and Justice. May we see ourselves for who we are in light of His Holiness, for when we do, if we do, we will not bow to a man, but to The Man who is sitting on the throne. May we joyfully bow now, for if we don't, one day, one GLORIOUS day, we will be forced to, along with all men, all spirits, under heaven and in heaven.

May we meditate on Him. May we use this Michael Jackson thing as a reminder that what the world deems as important, is not in the Kingdom. We have been called to be lights, to be salt, and to stand for Righteousness. May we not live short of His calling.

Jeremiah 23:29

"Is not my Word like a fire?", says the Lord, "And like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?"

Ezekiel 1:27

Also from the appearance of His waist and upward I saw, as it were, the color of amber with the appearance of fire all around within it; and from the appearance of His waist and downward I saw, as it were, the appearance of fire with brightness all around.

Hosea 6:1-3

Come, and let us return to the Lord; for He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up. After two days He will revive us; on the third day He will raise us up, that we may live in His sight.

Wedding Stuff!!

Well, a lot of the wedding details are coming together! I'm so excited. Mostly, it just fills my heart with joy to know that I will walk down the aisle to the man who The Lord so sovereignly designed me to be partnered with for as long as He gives me breath. This fact alone is what makes planning this wedding so easy. I could careless about flowers, cake, shoes, hair, etc., because at the end of the day, I will be his and he will be mine...and no flowers, cake, or shoes, can even compare to that!

Planning has been a little hard being that my parents have been out of town due to my grandmother's hospital visit. So, please keep that situation in prayer. She is in her late nineties, and age is having it's effect. We know that The Lord is in control and His timing is perfect, so we rest in that, never the less, it has been hard on my parents, who have so freely given of their time to my grandparents.

Well, I thought I'd post the pictures of the bridesmaids dresses along with the flower girl dresses, and the unity candle I made. I saw some of the unity candles that came pre-made..and I thought, "I can do a much better job, and for way less than what they're charging!!" So, I got my hot glue gun and got to work.

Here are some pics of the dresses:

I am glad Ruth was so willing to come meet me at David's Bridal and try on this dress. She loved it, and that was enough for me! It was the first dress she tried on, and she ordered it right then and there! I love you girl!!! You're so beautiful!!

Here is the flower girl dress:

Here are two of my flower girls..I love them so much! I also nanny these two angels!!

And, lastly, here is the unity candle I made! I guess the camera was crooked, but you get the idea anyway!

I am so thrilled right now. I have been trying to come up with a new idea for a post, but alas, all I can think about is my dear husband-to-be! So, we can talk about that for now!

We met with Hank Marion, my former pastor who will be doing our pre-marital counseling, as well as the wedding itself, and we think we have a date set! We are shooting for November 7th. I couldn't be happier! A lot of the details as far as church, my dress, my bridesmaids dresses, invitations, flowers, cake, etc. have been decided on already! I can't wait for November to get here...guess what? It's only FIVE months away!!!

The proposal, cont'd.

I feel the need to preface this post by saying that I am still in shock and in awe. My emotions are all over the place, so my writing may not clearly convey all that happened, and for that I'm sorry! I just figured that this would be the easiest and fastest way to let everyone know how he did it.

Poor guy! Everything he had planned, went wrong, according to him. I of course, loved every minute of how it actually turned out. He had planned on recording some songs with Rob on Friday and Saturday, but he got sick, and began to lose his voice Friday morning. He was not happy!!! So, we spent all day Friday and Saturday away from each other because "he had stuff to do". I thought he was going to propose, but I wasn't 100% sure, so I just went and did my thing. But, let's be honest, those two days without him were awful and I hated being away from him!

So, Sunday rolls around, and again, nothing goes according to his plan. He could barely sing for church! So, I assumed nothing was going to happen because he had mentioned over and over how disappointed that the most romantic weekend of his life was ruined...so I just played cool and (tried to) acted normal.

We had a church picnic we had to go to, so we went to that. All the while both of us were trying not to act disappointed in what "could have been..." Lol!!!

To make a very long story short, when we left the picnic, we went to his house to try to relax and watch a movie and eat dinner. However, he had different plans!!!!

I was trying to sit in his lap and just give him a much needed hug, and he told me to sit down on the couch because he had something for me...my heart started to BEAT SO FAST!!!! Still, though, I was trying not to expect anything!!!

He handed me packet of typed papers stapled together and told me to begin to read them. He reiterated that his plans did not go accordingly, and that he was so sorry for that. I didn't care!!! I began to read...the title made me cry!! "Our journey to one" GRRR!!! I was already emotional!

He had taken all of our most memorable and significant moments in our relationship and paired them with verses, songs that he had written me, and how it related to his life prior to me, etc. It was amazing. Essentially, his plan A was to have me do this love journey on my own in my car, going to various spots that meant a lot to us, all while listening to a CD he recorded of his songs that he wrote about and that he wrote for me. Then, I was going to end up at the park and the lake and he'd propose there. But, we did this sitting on the couch, side by side, and imagined all of it. Believe you me, it was so special to have him with me. I'm so glad it ended up this way because it was a really wonderful moment to share.

He used a hymn by William Cowper called, "God Moves in a Mysterious Way" to set the stage. He divided each verse and told why he felt that song had relevance with us. The 4th verse, "behind a frowning providence, he hides a smiling face" has always been what he has said to me..that I'm his smiling face behind everything that was bad and that if he had to go through everything again to get to this point, he'd do it. He has also made me several cards calling me his pearl of great price that he'd sell everything for in order to just have that one pearl...me! It was so amazing. Then, he used Song of Solomon. And as you know, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that book! I love the symbolism, and so what better way to express love to the woman you're asking to be your bride than by comparing it to the ultimate example...Jesus and the Church!

I feel like I'm skipping over so much stuff, so I'll fill in the gaps later, I just wanted everyone to know the basics of what happened.

So, then when we finished reading it, I was still not sure he was going to do it because he just sat there for about 5 minutes...and I was like, "Okay..awkward!!! What do I say?" Then, he hit one knee and said the sweetest words I've ever heard anyone say, "So, with all my heart, will you marry me?" And, he pulled out the ring I wanted...a pearl!! A pearl of great price! I was speechless, as I am now even as I write this. I couldn't even utter a word, but all I could do was hug him. At this point, I was on the verge of sobbing and completely breaking down into those tears you can't control...you know what I'm talking about!!! And he was crying too...which made it even harder for me to not break down. I wanted to at least be able to speak to him!! Literally all we could do was just cry and hug...it was so SWEET and tender. I loved it and am still in shock. So, I'm going to leave it at that. I'll write more soon, but it's hard for me to sit down and write this now, because there are just so many emotions!!! I can't believe it! I'm so happy!!!

So....You all know by now, we're engaged!!!!! I will write more on this posting tomorrow, but for now, this will have to do. I am so excited!!!!! Can't wait to share all the details about one of the most sweet and precious moments of my life!

Just sharing

I found this in Ronald's computer, and thought I'd put it up. I realized that I don't want this to just be a blog where I sound "super spiritual", but it needs to be a place to just "journal", as Adrienne said. So, here is one of my fave pics of us. Rob had two extra tickets to opening day for the Astros in April, and he invited us! It was so much fun. We lost of course, but who cares about those little details!! I'm going to be better at taking pictures and putting them up, I hope!!

The best guy ever!!

What you mean to me:

I just wanted to brag a bit on Ronald!! I know everyone who reads this knows how amazing he is, but nevertheless, it can't hurt!

This week was your birthday, and it gave me such joy to have a specific day set aside to make you feel so special and adored. It was nothing short of a privilege and honor to make this day all about you.

So, Ronald, thank you for being an amazing man who loves the Lord first with everything you have in you. Everything you do is a display of your passion for Him, and your desire to submit to His will. You're an amazing, inspiring example of someone who truly understands grace, love, and mercy. Every moment with you is a gift that money cannot buy or that anyone can replace. I've learned so much from you, and as you've challenged me, I've drawn so much closer to the Lord. Thank you for always seeking truth. Whether it's truth about the Lord, truth about us, or truth in any difficult situation, you've shown me the value of loving truth and holding on to that no matter what comes. You've taught me the importance of worshipping the Lord in spirit and in truth.


Thank you for loving me the way you do. You're my rock. Your strength gives me comfort, but your tenderness and love gives me peace. From day one, you've never been reckless with my heart, never have you been selfish or self seeking, and you've always put my needs above your own. The time and effort that you've taken to make sure that I feel your love toward me has completely won my heart. "You're everything I never knew I always wanted!"

Thanks for loving my family and for allowing me to love your family so freely too. Your family is so precious to me, and I treasure them as I treasure you. I love being around your family, but even more than that, I love how they love you and how they've been there for you. Your parents are nothing short of wonderful. Each time we're together, I fall even more in love with them! Your sisters are so amazing, each one with their own strengths and unique qualities that I admire. I am taken back by how everyone in your family has just welcomed me with open arms, and open hearts, as you have. Thank you for taking the time to meet with my dad and allowing him the freedom to get to know the man who has captured his daughter's heart. Thank you for not feeling threatened by my relationship with him or my mom. You will never know how much that has meant to me, and to them.

And, before I start to cry, I just wanted to say, thank you (again) for loving me. I never thought anything like this was possible, but it is. I truly thank the Lord for you, and it's my heart's desire that I allow Him to love you through me, as His love is perfect and fully satisfying. May He always stir my heart to treasure you and respect you in such a way that you know and feel you are loved the way that you've shown me.

I hope this week was amazing for you. I know I'm not alone when I say that you are loved beyond what words can even begin to express!

I love you

Dark but Lovely!!

Song of Solomon 1:5

"I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem."

This one verse has truly been on my heart the entire past week. Last week at church, Ronald and I were in our group Bible study discussing Acts 2. We found it so ironic that Peter was the one proclaiming the Risen Savior being that he had denied Him shortly prior to this. Yet, at the same time, he did it with such passion, zeal, and conviction, and as if nothing had happened...as if his denial of His Lord had never happened. The one who denied was now being used to proclaim the Truth.

All this takes me back to John 21. This is the account by which Jesus reveals Himself as risen Lord to His disciples, but He observes before revealing it (oh how lovely that it takes God to reveal God!! Bless His name!!)

You see, Peter, I believe being full of shame from his denial of the Lord Jesus, tells the others that he is going fishing (John 21:3), as if to say...I am going back to my previous life, my old way of doing things...I can't do this! After all, he was a fisherman by trade. If you continue to read, some of the other disciples follow suit.

I find this incredibly ironic considering that Jesus specifically called them to be fishers of men (Matt 4:19) not of the flesh, but by His Spirit. They were to obey, follow, and to do the work of the Spirit...not of self righteousness, legalism, or works. However, they could only do this if they were following Christ, and allowing Him to divinely orchestrate it all.

So, what did their return to fishing profit them? NOTHING!!! John 21:3 continues to say that they caught nothing! Now, Jesus, watching and knowing all of this, called out to them asking them if they had any food (v 5). Of course He knew that...I just think He wanted THEM to realize that their works were futile without Him. He then tells them to do something pretty cool!! He tells them to cast their net onto the right side of the boat...and my theory..why the right? Because that's where He sits...at the right hand of His Father. It's as if He was telling them to do it His way again. What does this have to do with Song of Solomon? Everything! If you keep reading, v 15 is the exchange between Peter and Jesus.

To set the scene, let's think about this. This was the very first time Peter talks to the Lord since his denial of Him. He most definitely is experiencing great amounts of shame, guilt, sadness, and distress. In reality, Peter was coming to an awareness of himself. He was becoming aware of his flesh and the utter depravity of it. He saw himself as he truly was...DARK.

Jesus, being infinitely gracious knew that Peter was struggling with the distress of seeing himself as he truly was. Let's remember that this was the disciple who said that he would never betray Him (Luke 22:33) and that he would go unto the death with Jesus. So there is no doubt in my mind that Peter was in sheer torment mentally and emotionally over what he had done. I am sure it surprised him..even as our sin surprises us.

We all have moments when The Lord in His Sovereignty chooses to reveal to us the frailty and depravity of our flesh, and to show us how evil we are and how in need of Him we are truly in. Somehow, it comes as a shock to us...and we are taken back. Then, we go to the Lord grievous over our evil ways, and approach the Lord as if He is shocked too!!! We approach the Throne of Mercy as if this is the FIRST time He is seeing this too. It's not. He's not surprised or taken back. He chose and loved us with full knowledge and awareness of how we truly are!!! We are Dark! We are Dark!

Oh, but how He never ends there. Looking at His exchange with Peter on the shore is the heart of Song of Solomon. He reassures Peter that yes, he is dark, but lovely! He asks Peter if he loves Him (John 21:15-18) three times...and the last time...the third time just brings me to tears. Peter, fully aware of shame and guilt, answers, "Lord you know all things..." As if to say, "You know my flesh, my sin, my depravity, my darkness..." BUT....he continues to say, "You know that I love You." How beautiful!!!! This is the whole concept of a Bride who knows she is dark, but lovely in the eyes of her Beloved.

"I am dark but lovely" is a phrase that is repeated over and over in Song of Solomon because it's something that we must ask the Lord to help us understand. It may take a while. For me it took a few years to even begin to grasp this concept. But one day...I don't even remember how or when, the Holy Spirit revealed it to me..and I got it! I understood. How lovely and how freeing it is to be aware of our depravity, but to know it is not a shock to Him nor a surprise. He sees us as lovely...Praise be to His Son whose Blood has set us free.

One more interesting note, John referred to himself as "the apostle that Jesus loved". I firmly believe that he understood this concept and he embraced it fully. I also think that this is why he was the first to recognize his Savior (John 21:7). When we know we are "dark, but lovely" we are able to see Jesus!!! Bless His name!!

The loveliest of Songs

Song of Song 1:1-4

1"The song of songs, which is Solomon's.

2Let him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth-for Your love is better than wine.

3Because of the fragrance of Your good ointments,

Your name is ointment poured forth;

Therefore the virgins love You.

4Draw me away."

Chapter one of the book of Song of Solomon sets the stage for the rest of the Bride's journey with her Bridegroom. "The song of songs, which is Solomon's"...What a powerful introduction to the book. I can think of several "songs" that Scripture clearly records and deems as important. The song of Moses, David, and even the song of the Lamb. Yet, the song of songs, the greatest of all the songs, the song that all other songs point to, is this one. That is a pretty powerful assertion to make when we look at the other songs the Bible records.




The song of Moses is recorded in Exodus 15, Deuteronomy 31, 32, and in Revelation 15:3. The last is of great importance because the song of Moses is cited synonymously with the song of the Lamb. For context purposes, I am including the preceding and following verses in this particular passage.

Revelation 15:2-4

2 And I saw something like a sea of glass mixed with fire,
and those who had been victorious over the beast and his image and the number of his name, standing on the sea of glass, holding harps of God.
3And they sang the song of Moses, the bond-servant of God, and the song of the Lamb saying,"Great and marvelous are Your works,
O Lord God, the Almighty;
Righteous and true are Your ways,
King of the nations!
4Who will not fear, O Lord, and glorify Your name?
For You alone are holy;
For ALL THE NATIONS WILL COME AND WORSHIP BEFORE YOU,
FOR YOUR RIGHTEOUS ACTS HAVE BEEN REVEALED."


I can only imagine if this is being sung to The Lord Almighty Himself after He has proven to be The Victor, and if this is the very song of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, this is a highly important song, and a song worth noting. I want to be a part of those singing this before the Throne! But, I can't help but feel strongly that even THIS song is not the song of songs...it's not the loveliest...the song of songs, the song that is the very core of The Lord's heart is the Song of Solomon's..the song that is His story of His Bride and His maturing her into being a full partner ready to be a co-heir with Him. I felt that it was crucial to preface this post with the fact that The Lord God Himself, the Holy Spirit inspired Word, says that THIS IS THE SONG OF ALL SONGS!!!! That is amazing. How often is it overlooked?



For reference sake the song of David is found all over Psalms, specifically 18, 22. 30, 65, 68, 108, 122, 124, 131, 132, and 2 Samuel 22, 1 Chorn 6, 13, and 2 Chron 29.

"Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth" Wow! There is so much to be said about this next verse. I love this verse, as it's referred to as "the divine kiss". How beautifully passionate a kiss can be. A kiss is a sign of intimacy, trust, and love. We, as His Bride, are crying out for intimacy with our Bridegroom King. The kisses? His Word. Oh that we would allow Him to kiss us with the divine kisses of His Word. He has chosen His Bride. And He is delighted in her! With this in mind, the following verses mean so much more. Let's view Him as a Bridegroom who is longing to kiss His chosen Bride, a Bride who deeply longs the intimacy of her Bridegroom.

Isaiah 62:5b

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So shall your God rejoice over you.

Psalm 2:11-12

11Serve the Lord with fear,
And rejoice with trembling.
12Kiss the Son, lest He be angry, and you perish in the way,
And His wrath is kindled but a little.
Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him.

Kissing is a reciprocal act. It's given and it's received. Our intimacy is not just for our Bridegroom, but His intimacy is for His Bride as well. I pray that we truly seek intimacy, the kisses of His Word, every day. May we live to feel His kisses and to give them to Him in the form of adoration and praise that His name is so worthy of. May we join with the elders, the angels, and all the creatures of creation who are surrounding His throne and sing:

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing...
Blessing and honor and glory and power
Be to Him who sits on the throne
And to the Lamb, forever and ever!
Amen
(Revelation 5:12b and 13b)

But may the song that resides deepest in our heart be that of the Song of Songs...the song of intimacy. May we long, yearn, ache, and desire to be as verse 4 says, "Draw me away!"

Draw us into intimacy, O Lord as you mature us to full partnership with you!!

L-O-V-E

L-is for the way you look at me

O-is for the only one I see

V-is very, very extraordinary

E-is even more than anyone that I adore

And LOVE...is all that I can give to you....LOVE is more than just a game for 2.....

That has to be one of my most favorite Nat King Cole songs. As much as I like it, I must admit that the song lacks the depth of describing what LOVE really is.

You see, last night we had a very interesting discussion at church. We were reading and searching the Scriptures about Biblical manhood and womanhood. We were talking about the various opinions permeating our society, and the church. This topic would normally make me very nervous and apprehensive, however, I had Ronald right next to me, and I know he and I firmly agree on this subject, so I rested in the fact that if anyone stated anything that was close to being unBiblical he, being the quiet person that he is, would speak up.

I must warn the reader that this discussion will probably take several posts for me to clearly communicate all that is on my mind and heart in regards to this particular topic. I freely welcome all comments, but I firmly believe that what I'm about to say is entirely Biblical and Scripturally based.

Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you that my favorite book in the Bible is Song of Solomon. Ask anyone that knows me well and they will tell you that I love the topic, the idea, and the notion that we are Christ's Bride, and He is our Bridegroom King. I seldom use any other term to refer to our Savior.

I preface this topic with what I have learned over the past few years. A few years ago my church was doing a study on the Song of Solomon. I thought it sounded interesting, so I signed up. I was not prepared for what was ahead of me.

Most people see the book as a love story primarily dealing with the love of a husband and a wife, and this is true to a certain extent. However, dig a little deeper, and you will see that the book is really a beautiful story of how our Bridegroom King has chosen His Bride, and the journey that we embark on with Him.

I will, over the summer, post a lot of things on this book. I plan on doing posts for each chapter of the book. For now though I am summarizing the general theme.

What I see when I read that book is how my Bridegroom King views His Bride. He views His Bride with such love, devotion, faithfulness, and tenderness. He views her that way even in the midst of her sin and darkness. He is constantly telling her how lovely she is to Him. The poetry and symbolism in this book never cease to bring me to tears. He sees me as lovely, even in my darkest and deepest pit of despair. Yet, it's not even because I have done anything to warrant this view, but because of the blood of the Lamb that was shed to cover all my iniquity.

The book is such a picture of how the Groom pursues the affection of His Bride. He covers her with love, yet challenges her in her life. He draws her out of herself and asks her to trust Him, to go into the wilderness with Him, to trust that He will be the ultimate Victor. He puts her in difficult places only to rid her of any crutch that she has been leaning on...anything except Him.

It has taken me a good two years to finally understand, "I am dark, but lovely". We are so dark, evil, and full of iniquity. Yet, the Lord sees us as lovely, as who we are because of the mercy seat. I can't wait to write about this book and the love that the Bridegroom King has for His Bride.

I feel that in order to even talk about Biblical roles in the home and between the husband and wife, one must not overlook the love that the Bridegroom King has for His Bride. It's only through this scope and this lens that we can see what our roles are truly meant to be....

Oh there is so much more to come!!! Be ready!!

Today as I was...

.....just sitting here thinking about life, I became increasingly aware of how much I have to be thankful for. First of all, my Lord and Savior who has saved me from myself. He is the reason I live. He will be the reason I die. His truth has shattered the many lies that I had tried to hold on to. How He has pursued my heart and loved me first. His unrelenting faithfulness has won my heart and soul forever. Blessing and glory, honor and power be to the only One who is worthy!

So, as I begin to take more time to write about things that are on my heart, I just wanted my first blog to be about those in my life whom I'm thankful for.

My family has been such a source of encouragement to me throughout the years. I've been richly blessed with my family. I thank the Lord for giving my parents who have honored Him and who have run the good race of faith. Mom and Dad, you two are my heroes. You two have set the foundation of who I am today. Nothing, no one could ever take your place. I love you both with my whole heart. My sister is one of my best friends. She is my solid rock of strength and my example of determination.

My friends. My gals. I love them so much. I have friends who I've known since I was 5, and also have those who are "new additions". Either way, my life would not be fulfilled with out my ladies. Autumn, Lael, Patti, Amber, Ruth, Stephanie, Flor, Nicole, and now, Jenn and Dana...Some of you, I've known my whole life, and I don't even have words to say how much I love you. For the rest of you ladies, I've enjoyed every minute of our friendship and only look forward to seeing where life takes us.

And finally, Ronald. . . . I am not even sure I have the words to say to express my deeply felt emotions and affections for you. You are my life long gift that the Lord has given me. I am amazed that He would entrust your heart to me. Thank you for loving and cherishing me the way that Christ has so tenderly loved and cared for His Church. "He saved me wtih you" is a line of that song we both love that is so fitted here. I love you! And, how can I forget the Metting family? I love you ALL! I have loved every second of getting to know each and every one of you. Benita and Big Ron, you two have been so gracious and kind to me it melts my heart. Adrienne, I just love you!!!! I'm glad we can share so many common interests and can be a source of encouragement to each other. Meredith, I knew there was a reason that we met those first few times up at Starbucks. I loved you then, and I do now! Afterall, it was you, who told Ronald that you really liked me! :) Melissa, even though we may not know each other as well as I'd like, I just have to say how much I respect you! You really have set such a great example of a Proverbs 31 woman. I am blessed to have such an example of this in you.

Thus, begins my blogging journey. I can't wait to be able to sit and write whatever random things I am currently thinking about!!

Here is my wonderful family at the best school....A&M!!!