Dark but Lovely!!

Song of Solomon 1:5

"I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem."

This one verse has truly been on my heart the entire past week. Last week at church, Ronald and I were in our group Bible study discussing Acts 2. We found it so ironic that Peter was the one proclaiming the Risen Savior being that he had denied Him shortly prior to this. Yet, at the same time, he did it with such passion, zeal, and conviction, and as if nothing had happened...as if his denial of His Lord had never happened. The one who denied was now being used to proclaim the Truth.

All this takes me back to John 21. This is the account by which Jesus reveals Himself as risen Lord to His disciples, but He observes before revealing it (oh how lovely that it takes God to reveal God!! Bless His name!!)

You see, Peter, I believe being full of shame from his denial of the Lord Jesus, tells the others that he is going fishing (John 21:3), as if to say...I am going back to my previous life, my old way of doing things...I can't do this! After all, he was a fisherman by trade. If you continue to read, some of the other disciples follow suit.

I find this incredibly ironic considering that Jesus specifically called them to be fishers of men (Matt 4:19) not of the flesh, but by His Spirit. They were to obey, follow, and to do the work of the Spirit...not of self righteousness, legalism, or works. However, they could only do this if they were following Christ, and allowing Him to divinely orchestrate it all.

So, what did their return to fishing profit them? NOTHING!!! John 21:3 continues to say that they caught nothing! Now, Jesus, watching and knowing all of this, called out to them asking them if they had any food (v 5). Of course He knew that...I just think He wanted THEM to realize that their works were futile without Him. He then tells them to do something pretty cool!! He tells them to cast their net onto the right side of the boat...and my theory..why the right? Because that's where He sits...at the right hand of His Father. It's as if He was telling them to do it His way again. What does this have to do with Song of Solomon? Everything! If you keep reading, v 15 is the exchange between Peter and Jesus.

To set the scene, let's think about this. This was the very first time Peter talks to the Lord since his denial of Him. He most definitely is experiencing great amounts of shame, guilt, sadness, and distress. In reality, Peter was coming to an awareness of himself. He was becoming aware of his flesh and the utter depravity of it. He saw himself as he truly was...DARK.

Jesus, being infinitely gracious knew that Peter was struggling with the distress of seeing himself as he truly was. Let's remember that this was the disciple who said that he would never betray Him (Luke 22:33) and that he would go unto the death with Jesus. So there is no doubt in my mind that Peter was in sheer torment mentally and emotionally over what he had done. I am sure it surprised him..even as our sin surprises us.

We all have moments when The Lord in His Sovereignty chooses to reveal to us the frailty and depravity of our flesh, and to show us how evil we are and how in need of Him we are truly in. Somehow, it comes as a shock to us...and we are taken back. Then, we go to the Lord grievous over our evil ways, and approach the Lord as if He is shocked too!!! We approach the Throne of Mercy as if this is the FIRST time He is seeing this too. It's not. He's not surprised or taken back. He chose and loved us with full knowledge and awareness of how we truly are!!! We are Dark! We are Dark!

Oh, but how He never ends there. Looking at His exchange with Peter on the shore is the heart of Song of Solomon. He reassures Peter that yes, he is dark, but lovely! He asks Peter if he loves Him (John 21:15-18) three times...and the last time...the third time just brings me to tears. Peter, fully aware of shame and guilt, answers, "Lord you know all things..." As if to say, "You know my flesh, my sin, my depravity, my darkness..." BUT....he continues to say, "You know that I love You." How beautiful!!!! This is the whole concept of a Bride who knows she is dark, but lovely in the eyes of her Beloved.

"I am dark but lovely" is a phrase that is repeated over and over in Song of Solomon because it's something that we must ask the Lord to help us understand. It may take a while. For me it took a few years to even begin to grasp this concept. But one day...I don't even remember how or when, the Holy Spirit revealed it to me..and I got it! I understood. How lovely and how freeing it is to be aware of our depravity, but to know it is not a shock to Him nor a surprise. He sees us as lovely...Praise be to His Son whose Blood has set us free.

One more interesting note, John referred to himself as "the apostle that Jesus loved". I firmly believe that he understood this concept and he embraced it fully. I also think that this is why he was the first to recognize his Savior (John 21:7). When we know we are "dark, but lovely" we are able to see Jesus!!! Bless His name!!