So....You all know by now, we're engaged!!!!! I will write more on this posting tomorrow, but for now, this will have to do. I am so excited!!!!! Can't wait to share all the details about one of the most sweet and precious moments of my life!

Just sharing

I found this in Ronald's computer, and thought I'd put it up. I realized that I don't want this to just be a blog where I sound "super spiritual", but it needs to be a place to just "journal", as Adrienne said. So, here is one of my fave pics of us. Rob had two extra tickets to opening day for the Astros in April, and he invited us! It was so much fun. We lost of course, but who cares about those little details!! I'm going to be better at taking pictures and putting them up, I hope!!

The best guy ever!!

What you mean to me:

I just wanted to brag a bit on Ronald!! I know everyone who reads this knows how amazing he is, but nevertheless, it can't hurt!

This week was your birthday, and it gave me such joy to have a specific day set aside to make you feel so special and adored. It was nothing short of a privilege and honor to make this day all about you.

So, Ronald, thank you for being an amazing man who loves the Lord first with everything you have in you. Everything you do is a display of your passion for Him, and your desire to submit to His will. You're an amazing, inspiring example of someone who truly understands grace, love, and mercy. Every moment with you is a gift that money cannot buy or that anyone can replace. I've learned so much from you, and as you've challenged me, I've drawn so much closer to the Lord. Thank you for always seeking truth. Whether it's truth about the Lord, truth about us, or truth in any difficult situation, you've shown me the value of loving truth and holding on to that no matter what comes. You've taught me the importance of worshipping the Lord in spirit and in truth.


Thank you for loving me the way you do. You're my rock. Your strength gives me comfort, but your tenderness and love gives me peace. From day one, you've never been reckless with my heart, never have you been selfish or self seeking, and you've always put my needs above your own. The time and effort that you've taken to make sure that I feel your love toward me has completely won my heart. "You're everything I never knew I always wanted!"

Thanks for loving my family and for allowing me to love your family so freely too. Your family is so precious to me, and I treasure them as I treasure you. I love being around your family, but even more than that, I love how they love you and how they've been there for you. Your parents are nothing short of wonderful. Each time we're together, I fall even more in love with them! Your sisters are so amazing, each one with their own strengths and unique qualities that I admire. I am taken back by how everyone in your family has just welcomed me with open arms, and open hearts, as you have. Thank you for taking the time to meet with my dad and allowing him the freedom to get to know the man who has captured his daughter's heart. Thank you for not feeling threatened by my relationship with him or my mom. You will never know how much that has meant to me, and to them.

And, before I start to cry, I just wanted to say, thank you (again) for loving me. I never thought anything like this was possible, but it is. I truly thank the Lord for you, and it's my heart's desire that I allow Him to love you through me, as His love is perfect and fully satisfying. May He always stir my heart to treasure you and respect you in such a way that you know and feel you are loved the way that you've shown me.

I hope this week was amazing for you. I know I'm not alone when I say that you are loved beyond what words can even begin to express!

I love you

Dark but Lovely!!

Song of Solomon 1:5

"I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem."

This one verse has truly been on my heart the entire past week. Last week at church, Ronald and I were in our group Bible study discussing Acts 2. We found it so ironic that Peter was the one proclaiming the Risen Savior being that he had denied Him shortly prior to this. Yet, at the same time, he did it with such passion, zeal, and conviction, and as if nothing had happened...as if his denial of His Lord had never happened. The one who denied was now being used to proclaim the Truth.

All this takes me back to John 21. This is the account by which Jesus reveals Himself as risen Lord to His disciples, but He observes before revealing it (oh how lovely that it takes God to reveal God!! Bless His name!!)

You see, Peter, I believe being full of shame from his denial of the Lord Jesus, tells the others that he is going fishing (John 21:3), as if to say...I am going back to my previous life, my old way of doing things...I can't do this! After all, he was a fisherman by trade. If you continue to read, some of the other disciples follow suit.

I find this incredibly ironic considering that Jesus specifically called them to be fishers of men (Matt 4:19) not of the flesh, but by His Spirit. They were to obey, follow, and to do the work of the Spirit...not of self righteousness, legalism, or works. However, they could only do this if they were following Christ, and allowing Him to divinely orchestrate it all.

So, what did their return to fishing profit them? NOTHING!!! John 21:3 continues to say that they caught nothing! Now, Jesus, watching and knowing all of this, called out to them asking them if they had any food (v 5). Of course He knew that...I just think He wanted THEM to realize that their works were futile without Him. He then tells them to do something pretty cool!! He tells them to cast their net onto the right side of the boat...and my theory..why the right? Because that's where He sits...at the right hand of His Father. It's as if He was telling them to do it His way again. What does this have to do with Song of Solomon? Everything! If you keep reading, v 15 is the exchange between Peter and Jesus.

To set the scene, let's think about this. This was the very first time Peter talks to the Lord since his denial of Him. He most definitely is experiencing great amounts of shame, guilt, sadness, and distress. In reality, Peter was coming to an awareness of himself. He was becoming aware of his flesh and the utter depravity of it. He saw himself as he truly was...DARK.

Jesus, being infinitely gracious knew that Peter was struggling with the distress of seeing himself as he truly was. Let's remember that this was the disciple who said that he would never betray Him (Luke 22:33) and that he would go unto the death with Jesus. So there is no doubt in my mind that Peter was in sheer torment mentally and emotionally over what he had done. I am sure it surprised him..even as our sin surprises us.

We all have moments when The Lord in His Sovereignty chooses to reveal to us the frailty and depravity of our flesh, and to show us how evil we are and how in need of Him we are truly in. Somehow, it comes as a shock to us...and we are taken back. Then, we go to the Lord grievous over our evil ways, and approach the Lord as if He is shocked too!!! We approach the Throne of Mercy as if this is the FIRST time He is seeing this too. It's not. He's not surprised or taken back. He chose and loved us with full knowledge and awareness of how we truly are!!! We are Dark! We are Dark!

Oh, but how He never ends there. Looking at His exchange with Peter on the shore is the heart of Song of Solomon. He reassures Peter that yes, he is dark, but lovely! He asks Peter if he loves Him (John 21:15-18) three times...and the last time...the third time just brings me to tears. Peter, fully aware of shame and guilt, answers, "Lord you know all things..." As if to say, "You know my flesh, my sin, my depravity, my darkness..." BUT....he continues to say, "You know that I love You." How beautiful!!!! This is the whole concept of a Bride who knows she is dark, but lovely in the eyes of her Beloved.

"I am dark but lovely" is a phrase that is repeated over and over in Song of Solomon because it's something that we must ask the Lord to help us understand. It may take a while. For me it took a few years to even begin to grasp this concept. But one day...I don't even remember how or when, the Holy Spirit revealed it to me..and I got it! I understood. How lovely and how freeing it is to be aware of our depravity, but to know it is not a shock to Him nor a surprise. He sees us as lovely...Praise be to His Son whose Blood has set us free.

One more interesting note, John referred to himself as "the apostle that Jesus loved". I firmly believe that he understood this concept and he embraced it fully. I also think that this is why he was the first to recognize his Savior (John 21:7). When we know we are "dark, but lovely" we are able to see Jesus!!! Bless His name!!

The loveliest of Songs

Song of Song 1:1-4

1"The song of songs, which is Solomon's.

2Let him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth-for Your love is better than wine.

3Because of the fragrance of Your good ointments,

Your name is ointment poured forth;

Therefore the virgins love You.

4Draw me away."

Chapter one of the book of Song of Solomon sets the stage for the rest of the Bride's journey with her Bridegroom. "The song of songs, which is Solomon's"...What a powerful introduction to the book. I can think of several "songs" that Scripture clearly records and deems as important. The song of Moses, David, and even the song of the Lamb. Yet, the song of songs, the greatest of all the songs, the song that all other songs point to, is this one. That is a pretty powerful assertion to make when we look at the other songs the Bible records.




The song of Moses is recorded in Exodus 15, Deuteronomy 31, 32, and in Revelation 15:3. The last is of great importance because the song of Moses is cited synonymously with the song of the Lamb. For context purposes, I am including the preceding and following verses in this particular passage.

Revelation 15:2-4

2 And I saw something like a sea of glass mixed with fire,
and those who had been victorious over the beast and his image and the number of his name, standing on the sea of glass, holding harps of God.
3And they sang the song of Moses, the bond-servant of God, and the song of the Lamb saying,"Great and marvelous are Your works,
O Lord God, the Almighty;
Righteous and true are Your ways,
King of the nations!
4Who will not fear, O Lord, and glorify Your name?
For You alone are holy;
For ALL THE NATIONS WILL COME AND WORSHIP BEFORE YOU,
FOR YOUR RIGHTEOUS ACTS HAVE BEEN REVEALED."


I can only imagine if this is being sung to The Lord Almighty Himself after He has proven to be The Victor, and if this is the very song of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, this is a highly important song, and a song worth noting. I want to be a part of those singing this before the Throne! But, I can't help but feel strongly that even THIS song is not the song of songs...it's not the loveliest...the song of songs, the song that is the very core of The Lord's heart is the Song of Solomon's..the song that is His story of His Bride and His maturing her into being a full partner ready to be a co-heir with Him. I felt that it was crucial to preface this post with the fact that The Lord God Himself, the Holy Spirit inspired Word, says that THIS IS THE SONG OF ALL SONGS!!!! That is amazing. How often is it overlooked?



For reference sake the song of David is found all over Psalms, specifically 18, 22. 30, 65, 68, 108, 122, 124, 131, 132, and 2 Samuel 22, 1 Chorn 6, 13, and 2 Chron 29.

"Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth" Wow! There is so much to be said about this next verse. I love this verse, as it's referred to as "the divine kiss". How beautifully passionate a kiss can be. A kiss is a sign of intimacy, trust, and love. We, as His Bride, are crying out for intimacy with our Bridegroom King. The kisses? His Word. Oh that we would allow Him to kiss us with the divine kisses of His Word. He has chosen His Bride. And He is delighted in her! With this in mind, the following verses mean so much more. Let's view Him as a Bridegroom who is longing to kiss His chosen Bride, a Bride who deeply longs the intimacy of her Bridegroom.

Isaiah 62:5b

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So shall your God rejoice over you.

Psalm 2:11-12

11Serve the Lord with fear,
And rejoice with trembling.
12Kiss the Son, lest He be angry, and you perish in the way,
And His wrath is kindled but a little.
Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him.

Kissing is a reciprocal act. It's given and it's received. Our intimacy is not just for our Bridegroom, but His intimacy is for His Bride as well. I pray that we truly seek intimacy, the kisses of His Word, every day. May we live to feel His kisses and to give them to Him in the form of adoration and praise that His name is so worthy of. May we join with the elders, the angels, and all the creatures of creation who are surrounding His throne and sing:

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing...
Blessing and honor and glory and power
Be to Him who sits on the throne
And to the Lamb, forever and ever!
Amen
(Revelation 5:12b and 13b)

But may the song that resides deepest in our heart be that of the Song of Songs...the song of intimacy. May we long, yearn, ache, and desire to be as verse 4 says, "Draw me away!"

Draw us into intimacy, O Lord as you mature us to full partnership with you!!