Wedding Stuff!!

Well, a lot of the wedding details are coming together! I'm so excited. Mostly, it just fills my heart with joy to know that I will walk down the aisle to the man who The Lord so sovereignly designed me to be partnered with for as long as He gives me breath. This fact alone is what makes planning this wedding so easy. I could careless about flowers, cake, shoes, hair, etc., because at the end of the day, I will be his and he will be mine...and no flowers, cake, or shoes, can even compare to that!

Planning has been a little hard being that my parents have been out of town due to my grandmother's hospital visit. So, please keep that situation in prayer. She is in her late nineties, and age is having it's effect. We know that The Lord is in control and His timing is perfect, so we rest in that, never the less, it has been hard on my parents, who have so freely given of their time to my grandparents.

Well, I thought I'd post the pictures of the bridesmaids dresses along with the flower girl dresses, and the unity candle I made. I saw some of the unity candles that came pre-made..and I thought, "I can do a much better job, and for way less than what they're charging!!" So, I got my hot glue gun and got to work.

Here are some pics of the dresses:

I am glad Ruth was so willing to come meet me at David's Bridal and try on this dress. She loved it, and that was enough for me! It was the first dress she tried on, and she ordered it right then and there! I love you girl!!! You're so beautiful!!

Here is the flower girl dress:

Here are two of my flower girls..I love them so much! I also nanny these two angels!!

And, lastly, here is the unity candle I made! I guess the camera was crooked, but you get the idea anyway!

I am so thrilled right now. I have been trying to come up with a new idea for a post, but alas, all I can think about is my dear husband-to-be! So, we can talk about that for now!

We met with Hank Marion, my former pastor who will be doing our pre-marital counseling, as well as the wedding itself, and we think we have a date set! We are shooting for November 7th. I couldn't be happier! A lot of the details as far as church, my dress, my bridesmaids dresses, invitations, flowers, cake, etc. have been decided on already! I can't wait for November to get here...guess what? It's only FIVE months away!!!

The proposal, cont'd.

I feel the need to preface this post by saying that I am still in shock and in awe. My emotions are all over the place, so my writing may not clearly convey all that happened, and for that I'm sorry! I just figured that this would be the easiest and fastest way to let everyone know how he did it.

Poor guy! Everything he had planned, went wrong, according to him. I of course, loved every minute of how it actually turned out. He had planned on recording some songs with Rob on Friday and Saturday, but he got sick, and began to lose his voice Friday morning. He was not happy!!! So, we spent all day Friday and Saturday away from each other because "he had stuff to do". I thought he was going to propose, but I wasn't 100% sure, so I just went and did my thing. But, let's be honest, those two days without him were awful and I hated being away from him!

So, Sunday rolls around, and again, nothing goes according to his plan. He could barely sing for church! So, I assumed nothing was going to happen because he had mentioned over and over how disappointed that the most romantic weekend of his life was ruined...so I just played cool and (tried to) acted normal.

We had a church picnic we had to go to, so we went to that. All the while both of us were trying not to act disappointed in what "could have been..." Lol!!!

To make a very long story short, when we left the picnic, we went to his house to try to relax and watch a movie and eat dinner. However, he had different plans!!!!

I was trying to sit in his lap and just give him a much needed hug, and he told me to sit down on the couch because he had something for me...my heart started to BEAT SO FAST!!!! Still, though, I was trying not to expect anything!!!

He handed me packet of typed papers stapled together and told me to begin to read them. He reiterated that his plans did not go accordingly, and that he was so sorry for that. I didn't care!!! I began to read...the title made me cry!! "Our journey to one" GRRR!!! I was already emotional!

He had taken all of our most memorable and significant moments in our relationship and paired them with verses, songs that he had written me, and how it related to his life prior to me, etc. It was amazing. Essentially, his plan A was to have me do this love journey on my own in my car, going to various spots that meant a lot to us, all while listening to a CD he recorded of his songs that he wrote about and that he wrote for me. Then, I was going to end up at the park and the lake and he'd propose there. But, we did this sitting on the couch, side by side, and imagined all of it. Believe you me, it was so special to have him with me. I'm so glad it ended up this way because it was a really wonderful moment to share.

He used a hymn by William Cowper called, "God Moves in a Mysterious Way" to set the stage. He divided each verse and told why he felt that song had relevance with us. The 4th verse, "behind a frowning providence, he hides a smiling face" has always been what he has said to me..that I'm his smiling face behind everything that was bad and that if he had to go through everything again to get to this point, he'd do it. He has also made me several cards calling me his pearl of great price that he'd sell everything for in order to just have that one pearl...me! It was so amazing. Then, he used Song of Solomon. And as you know, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that book! I love the symbolism, and so what better way to express love to the woman you're asking to be your bride than by comparing it to the ultimate example...Jesus and the Church!

I feel like I'm skipping over so much stuff, so I'll fill in the gaps later, I just wanted everyone to know the basics of what happened.

So, then when we finished reading it, I was still not sure he was going to do it because he just sat there for about 5 minutes...and I was like, "Okay..awkward!!! What do I say?" Then, he hit one knee and said the sweetest words I've ever heard anyone say, "So, with all my heart, will you marry me?" And, he pulled out the ring I wanted...a pearl!! A pearl of great price! I was speechless, as I am now even as I write this. I couldn't even utter a word, but all I could do was hug him. At this point, I was on the verge of sobbing and completely breaking down into those tears you can't control...you know what I'm talking about!!! And he was crying too...which made it even harder for me to not break down. I wanted to at least be able to speak to him!! Literally all we could do was just cry and hug...it was so SWEET and tender. I loved it and am still in shock. So, I'm going to leave it at that. I'll write more soon, but it's hard for me to sit down and write this now, because there are just so many emotions!!! I can't believe it! I'm so happy!!!

So....You all know by now, we're engaged!!!!! I will write more on this posting tomorrow, but for now, this will have to do. I am so excited!!!!! Can't wait to share all the details about one of the most sweet and precious moments of my life!

Just sharing

I found this in Ronald's computer, and thought I'd put it up. I realized that I don't want this to just be a blog where I sound "super spiritual", but it needs to be a place to just "journal", as Adrienne said. So, here is one of my fave pics of us. Rob had two extra tickets to opening day for the Astros in April, and he invited us! It was so much fun. We lost of course, but who cares about those little details!! I'm going to be better at taking pictures and putting them up, I hope!!

The best guy ever!!

What you mean to me:

I just wanted to brag a bit on Ronald!! I know everyone who reads this knows how amazing he is, but nevertheless, it can't hurt!

This week was your birthday, and it gave me such joy to have a specific day set aside to make you feel so special and adored. It was nothing short of a privilege and honor to make this day all about you.

So, Ronald, thank you for being an amazing man who loves the Lord first with everything you have in you. Everything you do is a display of your passion for Him, and your desire to submit to His will. You're an amazing, inspiring example of someone who truly understands grace, love, and mercy. Every moment with you is a gift that money cannot buy or that anyone can replace. I've learned so much from you, and as you've challenged me, I've drawn so much closer to the Lord. Thank you for always seeking truth. Whether it's truth about the Lord, truth about us, or truth in any difficult situation, you've shown me the value of loving truth and holding on to that no matter what comes. You've taught me the importance of worshipping the Lord in spirit and in truth.


Thank you for loving me the way you do. You're my rock. Your strength gives me comfort, but your tenderness and love gives me peace. From day one, you've never been reckless with my heart, never have you been selfish or self seeking, and you've always put my needs above your own. The time and effort that you've taken to make sure that I feel your love toward me has completely won my heart. "You're everything I never knew I always wanted!"

Thanks for loving my family and for allowing me to love your family so freely too. Your family is so precious to me, and I treasure them as I treasure you. I love being around your family, but even more than that, I love how they love you and how they've been there for you. Your parents are nothing short of wonderful. Each time we're together, I fall even more in love with them! Your sisters are so amazing, each one with their own strengths and unique qualities that I admire. I am taken back by how everyone in your family has just welcomed me with open arms, and open hearts, as you have. Thank you for taking the time to meet with my dad and allowing him the freedom to get to know the man who has captured his daughter's heart. Thank you for not feeling threatened by my relationship with him or my mom. You will never know how much that has meant to me, and to them.

And, before I start to cry, I just wanted to say, thank you (again) for loving me. I never thought anything like this was possible, but it is. I truly thank the Lord for you, and it's my heart's desire that I allow Him to love you through me, as His love is perfect and fully satisfying. May He always stir my heart to treasure you and respect you in such a way that you know and feel you are loved the way that you've shown me.

I hope this week was amazing for you. I know I'm not alone when I say that you are loved beyond what words can even begin to express!

I love you

Dark but Lovely!!

Song of Solomon 1:5

"I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem."

This one verse has truly been on my heart the entire past week. Last week at church, Ronald and I were in our group Bible study discussing Acts 2. We found it so ironic that Peter was the one proclaiming the Risen Savior being that he had denied Him shortly prior to this. Yet, at the same time, he did it with such passion, zeal, and conviction, and as if nothing had happened...as if his denial of His Lord had never happened. The one who denied was now being used to proclaim the Truth.

All this takes me back to John 21. This is the account by which Jesus reveals Himself as risen Lord to His disciples, but He observes before revealing it (oh how lovely that it takes God to reveal God!! Bless His name!!)

You see, Peter, I believe being full of shame from his denial of the Lord Jesus, tells the others that he is going fishing (John 21:3), as if to say...I am going back to my previous life, my old way of doing things...I can't do this! After all, he was a fisherman by trade. If you continue to read, some of the other disciples follow suit.

I find this incredibly ironic considering that Jesus specifically called them to be fishers of men (Matt 4:19) not of the flesh, but by His Spirit. They were to obey, follow, and to do the work of the Spirit...not of self righteousness, legalism, or works. However, they could only do this if they were following Christ, and allowing Him to divinely orchestrate it all.

So, what did their return to fishing profit them? NOTHING!!! John 21:3 continues to say that they caught nothing! Now, Jesus, watching and knowing all of this, called out to them asking them if they had any food (v 5). Of course He knew that...I just think He wanted THEM to realize that their works were futile without Him. He then tells them to do something pretty cool!! He tells them to cast their net onto the right side of the boat...and my theory..why the right? Because that's where He sits...at the right hand of His Father. It's as if He was telling them to do it His way again. What does this have to do with Song of Solomon? Everything! If you keep reading, v 15 is the exchange between Peter and Jesus.

To set the scene, let's think about this. This was the very first time Peter talks to the Lord since his denial of Him. He most definitely is experiencing great amounts of shame, guilt, sadness, and distress. In reality, Peter was coming to an awareness of himself. He was becoming aware of his flesh and the utter depravity of it. He saw himself as he truly was...DARK.

Jesus, being infinitely gracious knew that Peter was struggling with the distress of seeing himself as he truly was. Let's remember that this was the disciple who said that he would never betray Him (Luke 22:33) and that he would go unto the death with Jesus. So there is no doubt in my mind that Peter was in sheer torment mentally and emotionally over what he had done. I am sure it surprised him..even as our sin surprises us.

We all have moments when The Lord in His Sovereignty chooses to reveal to us the frailty and depravity of our flesh, and to show us how evil we are and how in need of Him we are truly in. Somehow, it comes as a shock to us...and we are taken back. Then, we go to the Lord grievous over our evil ways, and approach the Lord as if He is shocked too!!! We approach the Throne of Mercy as if this is the FIRST time He is seeing this too. It's not. He's not surprised or taken back. He chose and loved us with full knowledge and awareness of how we truly are!!! We are Dark! We are Dark!

Oh, but how He never ends there. Looking at His exchange with Peter on the shore is the heart of Song of Solomon. He reassures Peter that yes, he is dark, but lovely! He asks Peter if he loves Him (John 21:15-18) three times...and the last time...the third time just brings me to tears. Peter, fully aware of shame and guilt, answers, "Lord you know all things..." As if to say, "You know my flesh, my sin, my depravity, my darkness..." BUT....he continues to say, "You know that I love You." How beautiful!!!! This is the whole concept of a Bride who knows she is dark, but lovely in the eyes of her Beloved.

"I am dark but lovely" is a phrase that is repeated over and over in Song of Solomon because it's something that we must ask the Lord to help us understand. It may take a while. For me it took a few years to even begin to grasp this concept. But one day...I don't even remember how or when, the Holy Spirit revealed it to me..and I got it! I understood. How lovely and how freeing it is to be aware of our depravity, but to know it is not a shock to Him nor a surprise. He sees us as lovely...Praise be to His Son whose Blood has set us free.

One more interesting note, John referred to himself as "the apostle that Jesus loved". I firmly believe that he understood this concept and he embraced it fully. I also think that this is why he was the first to recognize his Savior (John 21:7). When we know we are "dark, but lovely" we are able to see Jesus!!! Bless His name!!